Thank you for writing with such an excellent question. I will not only answer your question, but I will also tell you God’s will for your life. First, let’s look at what God says about the heart in the Bible: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? I the Lord search the heart and test the mind, to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his deeds.” (Jeremiah 17:9-10). How do we trust Him who is Perfect with something He says is deceitful and sick?
Think for a moment about what is in your heart. We can do this by looking at God’s perfect standard (the Ten Commandments) which acts like a mirror to help us see what He sees—here are a few:
1) How many lies do you think you’ve told?
2) Have you ever hated anyone, or gotten so angry with someone that you wished they were dead?
3) Have you ever looked with lust?
4) Have you always your entire life loved God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength?
We have all lied, and that makes us liars. God’s law says that hatred is murder, and that looking with lust is adultery. God also says that no person seeks after Him with his or her heart (and God does not lie). We must stand before Him on Judgment Day and receive what is coming to us because of our sin, which is eternal death. (Romans 6:23)
Now, here’s the good news: God Himself stepped into time and space in the person of the Lord Jesus Christ. He kept all of God’s law and was perfect, yet, He died on the cross to pay the penalty for our sins and He came back to life from the grave after three days!
Second, I said I would tell you God’s will for your life, and here it is directly from the Bible: “The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not willing that any should perish but for all to come to repentance.” (2 Peter 3:9) God’s will is that you see the sin in your heart and desire to be clean from sin. God does not want you to die in your sin, but see how Jesus’ death on the cross delivers you from the penalty and power of sin, if you will only confess that you are a sinner and desire to have new life in Christ Jesus. We trust Him because He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).
Read Psalm 51, and please write me back when you have further questions!