To my wife

Since (you say) I am getting to be quite forgetful (I don't remember why), at least I am not like this poor bloke:

Two poems on Jonathan Bing
by Betrice Curtis Brown

Oh, Jonathan Bing, oh, Bingathon Jon!
Forgets where he's going and thinks he has gone.
He wears his false teeth on the top of his head,
And always stands up when he's sleeping in bed.

Oh, Jonathan Bing has a curious way
Of trying to walk into yesterday.
"If I end with my breakfast and start with my tea,
I ought to be able to do it," says he.

Oh, Jonathan Bing is a miser, they say,
For be likes to save trouble and put it away.
"If I never get up in the morning," he said,
"I shall save all the trouble of going to bed!"

"Oh, Jonathan Bing, what a way to behave!
And what do you do with the trouble you save'"
"I wrap it up neatly and send it by post
To my friends and relations who need it the most.''

***************

Poor old Jonathan Bing
Went out in his carriage to visit the King,
But everyone pointed and said, "Look at that!
Jonathan Bing has forgotten his hat!"
(He'd forgotten his hat!)

Poor old Jonathan Bing
Went home and put on a new hat for the King,
But by the palace the soldier said, "Hi!
You can't see the King; you've forgotten your tie!"
(He'd forgotten his tie!)

Poor old Jonathan Bing,
He put on a beautiful tie for the King,
But when he arrived, and Archbishop said, "Ho!
You can't come to court in pajamas, you know!"

Poor old Jonathan Bing
Went home and addressed a short note to the King:
"If you please will excuse me, I won't come to tea;
For home's the best place for all people like me!"