Bad Cold by Shel Silverstein

  This cold is too much for my shortsleeve. Go get me a Kleenex--and fast. I sniffle and wheeze And I'm ready to sneeze And I don't know how long I can last.... Atchoo--it's to wet for a kleenex, So bring me handkerchief, quick. It's--atchoo--no joke, Now the handkerchief's soaked. Hey, a dish towel just might do the trick. Atchoo--it's too much for bath towel. There never has been such a cold. I'll be better off With that big tablecloth, No--bring me the flag off the pole. Atchoo--bring the clothes from the closet, Atchaa--get the sheets from the bed, The drapes off the window, The rugs off the floor To soak up this cold in my head. Atchoo-- hurry down to the circus And ask if they'll lend you the tent. You say they said yes? Here it comes--Lord be blessed-- Here it is--Ah-kachoooo--there it went.

No Man Is an Island

One day a man was hiking in the mountains when he came upon the hut of a hermit who had isolated himself from other human beings. He struck up a conversation with the hermit who told the visitor that he was completely self-sufficient to meet his own needs. He said, "I cut the trees and hewed the logs for my cabin, and I put it together with wooden pegs. I grow or hunt all my own food, and I get along just fine. I don't need anybody else."

The man looked at him for a moment, then said, "Tell me, how did you cut the trees you used for your cabin?"

The hermit replied, "With my axe."

Then the visitor said, "But wasn't someone else responsible for making that axe and your other tools, and for mining the iron that was used to make them? What about your clothes, do you make all of them?"

"No," replied the hermit, "I have to make a trip outside about once a year to get new clothes."

"Then," said the man again, "what about the shells that you use in your gun when you hunt your food, and what about the gun itself? Weren't you dependent on someone else for both?"

"Well," said the hermit reluctantly, "I guess so."

"The truth is," said the visitor, "that you are not as independent of others as you like to think. Even if you could sustain yourself completely without any of the things we've mentioned, you're still forgetting one vital thing which you could never supply or maintain by yourself."

"What's that?" asked the hermit.

Looking him full in the face, the man said, "Your own life."

Whereupon the hermit fell silent and had little else to say.

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