Happy Breakfast Club Day!

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It was actually yesterday, but you know how these calendars work.  Things to do today: 1) ponder the error of your ways; 2) take a moment to dance a little; 3) have a snack; 4) enjoy a makeover (if applicable); 5) be specific when describing the ruckus. 6) Don’t forget about me.

The Bible IS full of errors!

A couple of months ago I was on the campus of USC sharing the gospel with students in "The Horseshoe." I was going through the law with this guy to point him to his need for Christ: he admitted he had broken the 9th and 8th and 3rd Commandment. When I asked if he had committed adultery, he said he had not. I pointed out that Jesus said that if you look at a woman so as to lust after her, that adultery had already been committed. He got extremely agitated and raising his voice fired back, “You can’t quote what Jesus said because his words are contained in a humanly written book that is filled with errors!”

I wanted to ask him who wrote the textbook in his hand if he thought the author was right in the ever-changing flow of understanding. I didn’t.

Instead, I held out my Bible and asked him to show me some of those errors. He stepped back and declined my offer. He sarcastically asked, “prove walking on water archeaologically!” I confessed I could not, but that’s why such events are called “miracles.” He wanted to go eat, and thus ended our conversation.

I’ve not been able to shake his comments about errors in the Bible. The more I think about it, the more I realize he is right. There are errors in the Bible. The Bible is full of mistakes and I will show you some right now (by golly!):

  1. Genesis: God told Adam to eat of any tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, he is not to eat of it or else he would die. Adam disobeyed God and death came. Big mistake.
  2. Exodus: God told Moses to speak to the rock and water would come out for the thirsty people. Moses struck the rock and disobeyed God, so Moses was not able to enter the Promised Land. Bungle!
  3. Leviticus: Nadab and Abihu disobeyed God’s directions for priestly behavior and fire fell from heaven and consumed them. Error!
  4. Numbers: God told Israel to take the Promised Land, but the people failed to believe God and wandered until the unbelieving generation died. Blunder!
  5. Deuteronomy: A review of past mistakes for the next generation (Ch. 9) and a prediction of future rebellion (Ch. 31). Beware misappropriation!
  6. Joshua: God instructs that no souvenirs be taken from conquered cities, but Achan did anyway and the army was defeated at Ai. Achan died for his disobedience. Misjudgment!
  7. Judges: everyone does what was right in their own eyes and were punished. Constantly. Aberration!
  8. Ruth: Naomi’s thinking that God afflicted her. Misconception!
  9. 1 Samuel: One word says it all . . . “Saul.” Delusion!
  10. 2 Samuel: Again, one word . . . “Bathsheba.” Misapprehension!
  11. 1 Kings: In the midst of all wisdom, Solomon drew around himself a lack of discernment. Laxity!
  12. 2 Kings: Israel trusted in their strength amidst their rebellion against God and the Babylonians invaded. Misguided!
  13. Chronicles (see 1,2 Kings)
  14. Ezra: Adversaries of Judah tried to resist and oppose the rebuilding of Jerusalem. False Impression!
  15. Nehemiah: see Ezra.
  16. Esther: Yet another single word . . . Haman. Self-Deceit!
  17. Job: try to put words in God’s mouth. Malapropism!
  18. Psalms: Misguided worship. Not a good idea!
  19. Proverbs: act like a fool. Misinterpretation!
  20. Ecclesiastes: try anything once, do the fun things twice. Vanity!
  21. Song of Solomon: (uh, hmmmm. Oh, here we go . . .) Treat love cheaply. Dream!
    Isaiah: Practice empty religion. Woe!
  22. Jeremiah: try to tell God He does not know what He is doing. Bull!
  23. Lamentations: try to act like nothing is happening. Flaw!
  24. Ezekiel: hang onto idolatry and false religion. False hope!
  25. Daniel: tell God who the king REALLY is. Malediction!
  26. Hosea: do whatever you want, even it means acting like a harlot. Faulty!
  27. Joel: Don’t repent. Foolish!
  28. Amos: abandon true worship and act foolish. Heresy!
  29. Obadiah: Edom mistreated Judah. Erratum!
  30. Jonah: God said, “go”; Jonah said, “no”; God said, “oh?” A Bubble!
  31. Micah: persistently pursue evil. Trip!
  32. Nahum: be proud against sovereignty. Danger!
  33. Habakkuk: see Amos and Micah.
  34. Zephaniah: ignore God’s attention-getting. Delusive!
  35. Haggai: misplaced spiritual priorities. Not advised!
  36. Zechariah: see Haggai.
  37. Malachi: hold contempt for God. Oops!

So see, the Bible IS full of errors! And that’s just the Old Testament!

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