Head-dibs

“You have sent a letter to me through the hand of a ‘friend’ of yours, as you call him. And in your very next sentence you warn me not to discuss with him all the matters that concern you, saying that even you yourself are not accustomed to do this; in other words, you have in the same letter affirmed and denied that he is your friend. Now if you used this word of ours in the popular sense, and called him ‘friend’ in the same way in which we speak of all candidates for election as ‘honourable gentlemen,’ and as we greet all men whom we meet casually, if their names slip us for the moment, with the salutation ‘my dear sir,’ – so be it. But if you consider any man a friend whom you do not trust as you trust yourself, you are mightily mistaken and you do not sufficiently understand what true friendship means.” (Seneca, Letter 3, “On True and False Friendship”)

"When friendship is settled, you must trust." (Seneca, "On True and False Friendship."  Moral Letters . 3)

“You must reflect carefully beforehand with whom you are to eat and drink, rather than what you are to eat and drink. For a dinner of meats without the company of a friend is like the life of a lion or a wolf.” (Seneca, quoting Epicurus in Moral Letter 19: "On Worldliness and Retirement")

“'Cherish some man of high character, and keep him ever before your eyes, living as if he were watching you, and ordering all your actions as if he beheld them.'” Such, my dear Lucilius, is the counsel of Epicurus; he has quite properly given us a guardian and an attendant. We can get rid of most sins, if we have a witness who stands near us when we are likely to go wrong. The soul should have someone whom it can respect, – one by whose authority it may make even its inner shrine more hallowed. Happy is the man who can make others better, not merely when he is in their company, but even when he is in their thoughts! And happy also is he who can so revere a man as to calm and regulate himself by calling him to mind! One who can so revere another, will soon be himself worthy of reverence. Choose therefore a Cato; or, if Cato seems too severe a model, choose some Laelius, a gentler spirit. Choose a master whose life, conversation, and soul-expressing face have satisfied y...

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." (Albert Schweitzer)

 This is a long and complicated letter , so I'll do my best to share what I think lies at the heart. Thank you in advance for thinking with me. "Hecato says : 'I can show you a philtre [potion], compounded without drugs, herbs, or any witch's incantation: 'If you be loved, love.' "  And what is love? Later in this letter, Seneca defines love as "friendship run mad."  He goes on:  "Now there is great pleasure, not only in maintaining old and established friendships, but also in beginning and acquiring new ones. There is the same difference between winning a new friend and having already won him, as there is between the farmer who sows and the farmer who reaps. The philosopher Attalus used to say: 'It is more pleasant to make than to keep a friend, as it is more pleasant to the artist to paint than to have finished painting.'"  What is the purpose of friendship? Is it to collect people for the purpose of support or...

Read the entirety of this short letter here .

"But if you consider any man a friend whom you do not trust as you trust yourself, you are mightily mistaken and you do not sufficiently understand what true friendship means. Indeed, I would have you discuss everything with a friend; but first of all discuss the man himself. When friendship is settled, you must trust; before friendship is formed, you must pass judgment. Those persons indeed put last first and confound their duties, who . . . judge a man after they have made him their friend, instead of making him their friend after they have judged him. Ponder for a long time whether you shall admit a given person to your friendship; but when you have decided to admit him, welcome him with all your heart and soul. Speak as boldly with him as with yourself. . . .   (Seneca, Letter 3 "On True and False Friendship") When reading this instruction on true and false friendship, one remembers the time when three friends came alongside a man who had lost ...

On a recent shopping trip, as I was leaving the register area, the cashier said, "Have a blessed day!" I took it as one of those secret sayings just among us Christians. Whether or not that was her intention, I don't know, but the incident got me thinking about how we greet people and what do we say when they leave our presence. Consider the 20th Psalm where David writes a number of blessings that he give to other people. " May the LORD answer you in the day of trouble !" (20:1) (Help that is perfectly timed) " May the name of the God of Jacob set you securely on high !" (20:2) (Help that is perfectly secure) " May He grant you your heart's desire and fulfill your counsel !" (20:4) (Help that is complete) " May the LORD fulfill all your petitions " (20:5) (Help that is comprehensive) " May the King answer us in the day we call " (20:9) (Help that is prompt) (From my friend, Dr. John Williamson, at First Baptist Church ...

A great weight has been placed on me lately, one not asked or sought for, but one designed for God's glory and my growth. For the past month or so a good friend and I have not been seeing eye-to-eye. As we talk, our conversations lately have reached points of misunderstanding and this has been getting frustrating. Comments lately make me feel as if I were a personal project that he now cannot control or fix, so he will "steward his time" somewhere else. I want resolution and peace because I feel used and betrayed. I've been dealing with a onslaught of thoughts and temptations concerning this and I've come to these few conclusions so far: 1) I've done nothing wrong and neither has he--there is deception in the way; 2) I am not wrong to have an opinion and neither is he--there is the issue of personal conviction on how one acts and reacts based on what is known, not assumed; 3) "Love covers a multitude of sins and overlooks many offenses." (Prov. 10:12...

To a friend who differs in opinion: ********** "The Invitation" It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn't inter...