The Kiss

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  “Ryabovitch pulled the bed-clothes over his head, curled himself up in bed, and tried to gather together the floating images in his mind and to combine them into one whole. But nothing came of it. He soon fell asleep, and his last thought was that someone had caressed him and made him happy—that something extraordinary, foolish, but joyful and delightful, had come into his life. The thought did not leave him even in his sleep. When he woke up the sensations of oil on his neck and the chill of peppermint about his lips had gone, but joy flooded his heart just as the day before.” The Kiss By Anton Chekhov (1860–1904)

from the shelf

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A great weight has been placed on me lately, one not asked or sought for, but one designed for God's glory and my growth.

For the past month or so a good friend and I have not been seeing eye-to-eye. As we talk, our conversations lately have reached points of misunderstanding and this has been getting frustrating. Comments lately make me feel as if I were a personal project that he now cannot control or fix, so he will "steward his time" somewhere else. I want resolution and peace because I feel used and betrayed.

I've been dealing with a onslaught of thoughts and temptations concerning this and I've come to these few conclusions so far:

1) I've done nothing wrong and neither has he--there is deception in the way;

2) I am not wrong to have an opinion and neither is he--there is the issue of personal conviction on how one acts and reacts based on what is known, not assumed;

3) "Love covers a multitude of sins and overlooks many offenses." (Prov. 10:12, 16; 17:9; 19:11; 1 Pe 4:8)

4) "Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." (1 Cor. 13:4-7)

5) Bitterness is to be put away (Eph. 4:31) and biting must end (Gal. 5:15). Bitterness belongs to the sinful nature (Gal. 5:19) and the bitter root must not grow (Heb. 12:15.)

It is to my shame and God's glory I am what I am; for I would not realize the ongoing depravity of my own heart should I not look at Him. As I sit in selfish self-pity I realize then that my eyes are not on Him who is Faithful and True.

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