from the shelf

-
A great weight has been placed on me lately, one not asked or sought for, but one designed for God's glory and my growth.

For the past month or so a good friend and I have not been seeing eye-to-eye. As we talk, our conversations lately have reached points of misunderstanding and this has been getting frustrating. Comments lately make me feel as if I were a personal project that he now cannot control or fix, so he will "steward his time" somewhere else. I want resolution and peace because I feel used and betrayed.

I've been dealing with a onslaught of thoughts and temptations concerning this and I've come to these few conclusions so far:

1) I've done nothing wrong and neither has he--there is deception in the way;

2) I am not wrong to have an opinion and neither is he--there is the issue of personal conviction on how one acts and reacts based on what is known, not assumed;

3) "Love covers a multitude of sins and overlooks many offenses." (Prov. 10:12, 16; 17:9; 19:11; 1 Pe 4:8)

4) "Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." (1 Cor. 13:4-7)

5) Bitterness is to be put away (Eph. 4:31) and biting must end (Gal. 5:15). Bitterness belongs to the sinful nature (Gal. 5:19) and the bitter root must not grow (Heb. 12:15.)

It is to my shame and God's glory I am what I am; for I would not realize the ongoing depravity of my own heart should I not look at Him. As I sit in selfish self-pity I realize then that my eyes are not on Him who is Faithful and True.

Popular posts from this blog

"On Keeping A Notebook" by Joan Didion

-
Image
I'm nearly finished reading Joan Didion's collection of essays, Slouching Towards Bethlehem.  The book was discovered through another book I was reading, Jon Krakauer's Eiger Dreams . If Jon felt this book was good enough to pack along on a mountain climbing expedition, then I'm interested. Took me three tries, but I finally found my copy on Amazon. One of the best book buys I've made. Joan selected the title of this book from William Butler Yeats' classic poem, Second Coming . The book title is shared with one of her larger essays, a record of encounters with people in the 1960's drug culture. Didion's book is divided into three distinct parts: "Life Styles In The Golden Land," a collection of articles capturing the California experience of the 1960's; "Personals," a few of essays of the first-hand nature; and "Seven Places Of The Mind", some thoughts about those parts of California that are now long gone. One essay...
Read more

“And so, about this tomb of mine . . . “

-
Image
  “VANITY, saith the preacher, vanity!  Draw round my bed: is Anselm keeping back?  Nephews—sons mine … ah God, I know not! Well—  She, men would have to be your mother once,  Old Gandolf envied me, so fair she was!  What’s done is done, and she is dead beside,  Dead long ago, and I am Bishop since,  And as she died so must we die ourselves,  And thence ye may perceive the world’s a dream.  Life, how and what is it?  As here I lie In this state-chamber, dying by degrees,  Hours and long hours in the dead night,  I ask “Do I live, am I dead?”  Peace, peace seems all.  Saint Praxed’s ever was the church for peace;  And so, about this tomb of mine.  I fought With tooth and nail to save my niche, ye know:  —Old Gandolf cozened me, despite my care;  Shrewd was that snatch from out the corner  South He graced his carrion with,  God curse the same!  Yet still my niche is not so cramped...
Read more