from the shelf

A great weight has been placed on me lately, one not asked or sought for, but one designed for God's glory and my growth.

For the past month or so a good friend and I have not been seeing eye-to-eye. As we talk, our conversations lately have reached points of misunderstanding and this has been getting frustrating. Comments lately make me feel as if I were a personal project that he now cannot control or fix, so he will "steward his time" somewhere else. I want resolution and peace because I feel used and betrayed.

I've been dealing with a onslaught of thoughts and temptations concerning this and I've come to these few conclusions so far:

1) I've done nothing wrong and neither has he--there is deception in the way;

2) I am not wrong to have an opinion and neither is he--there is the issue of personal conviction on how one acts and reacts based on what is known, not assumed;

3) "Love covers a multitude of sins and overlooks many offenses." (Prov. 10:12, 16; 17:9; 19:11; 1 Pe 4:8)

4) "Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." (1 Cor. 13:4-7)

5) Bitterness is to be put away (Eph. 4:31) and biting must end (Gal. 5:15). Bitterness belongs to the sinful nature (Gal. 5:19) and the bitter root must not grow (Heb. 12:15.)

It is to my shame and God's glory I am what I am; for I would not realize the ongoing depravity of my own heart should I not look at Him. As I sit in selfish self-pity I realize then that my eyes are not on Him who is Faithful and True.