Uncloistered

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  “She gazed ahead through a long reach of future days strung together like pearls in a rosary, every one like the others, and all smooth and flawless and innocent, and her heart went up in thankfulness. Outside was the fervid summer afternoon; the air was filled with the sounds of the busy harvest of men and birds and bees; there were halloos, metallic clatterings, sweet calls, and long hummings. Louisa sat, prayerfully numbering her days, like an uncloistered nun.” A New England Nun By Mary E. Wilkins Freeman (1852–1930)

"How do I help someone who does not want help?"

I received an e-mail from a reader who asked "How do I help someone who does not want help? What do I do about people who don't want to change no matter how much we try to help? Do I stop communicating with them?"

These are some excellent questions, though difficult to answer in this forum. I will let you know that your situation is not unique and there are many people who are asking the same questions.

A good starting point toward an answer would be to recognize that we all needed help before we wanted it (Romans 5:6, 8). What would your answers be to the following questions?

1) What does Job 6:14 say a despairing man needs, and for what reason?

2) What does Galatians 6:1 say to the one who does the ministry of restoration?

Without knowing the details of your situation, I really don’t know how else to counsel you on this matter, but here are some things to consider:

1) Do you have all the facts concerning the individual?

2) Is their situation as bad as you thought? As bad as they thought?

3) Who does their situation really impact the most? What is the worst that can happen?

4) Sometimes the best thing we can do is provide an environment where change can take place in a person. Where are you getting your strength and support?

I pray this helps!

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