Taking the Watchtower Back

Driving home for lunch today, I saw the Jehovah’s Witnesses walking along the road. My heart skipped a beat, for I knew a divine appointment had been made! While my wife fixed lunch, I kept my eye on the road, watching for my mid-day visitors. Praying.

They were driving two cars, in two teams. One team of men (I talked with a team back in March) and one team of women.

While the younger lady found a place to park her car, an older lady had been dropped off to visit my neighbor across the street. A few minutes later, she was walking alongside the road going to the next house. She didn’t even look our way . . . I was hurt. So I went outside.

“Hi, There!” I greeted the lady as she shuffled along the road.

“Hello!” She greeted me back, turning her head. I made my way down the driveway. She crossed the road to meet me.[i]

“How are you doing?” I asked.

“Just fine, just fine,” she said. “We jus’ out this fine day tellin’ folks about God and heaven. You know it says in Matthew that “the meek shall inherit the . . .”

She was fishing to see what I knew. I bit. “Earth.”

“Thas’ right. The day is gonna come when we gonna live here on earth forever and we jus’ out tellin’ folks about it. I got a magazine right here that says all about it.” She rummaged for her bag, sifting through various Watchtowers to find the right one. She held it out, and I took it.

“Ma’am,” I asked politely, “I have a question I would like to have an answer for. I’ve been diagnosed with a disease that will kill me and I don’t have long to live. What do I need to do to live forever?” I don’t really have a disease, but as long as I am in this sinful flesh . . .

She cocked her head back and thought for a moment. I looked at the Watchtower.

“Well, it’s like that thief who died next to Jesus. He said, ‘remember me when you come into your kingdom’ and Jesus said, ‘this day you will be with me in . . . ‘” Fishing again.

“Paradise,” I answered.

“Thas’ right. Thas’ right. 'This day you will be with me in paradise.' When he died he received the promise of Jesus that he would be in paradise. When he raise from the dead [I couldn’t tell if that was past, present or future tense], he gets to learn about Jehovah, get it right because he didn’t get it right before. The day you raise from the dead, you get to learn about Jehovah.”

This was news to me. I thought I was annihilated. Anyway . . .

“What happens to you when you die?” I asked, looking at the Watchtower again.

“I have the hopes I gonna go to Paradise.” She responded.

“Would you consider yourself to be a good person?” I pressed. She cocked her head back again as if I had taken a swing to snatch her hat.

“I consider mysef’ to be a CHRISTIAN!” she said, with attitude.

“Do you think you’ve kept the Ten Commandments?” I wanted to know. She stared at me. “Have you ever told a lie?”

She raised her voice as the male team drove slowly by, staring at us, “What ‘chu axin’ [asking] that for? You got no business axin’ that!”

“I just want to know if you consider yourself to be a good person,” I replied softly. “Have you ever told lie?”

“Well, I guess I told untruth before.”

“If one tells a lie, what do you call him? If I told a lie, what would you call me?”

Shifting her bag to her other hand, she clasped her forearms and stomped her foot. “A SINNER!” she said, puckering her lips and squinting a little.

I said, “Ma’am, if I told you a lie, what would you call me? It starts with a ‘L’ and has four letters.”

“You’re a LIAR,” she said with venom, looking around for her partners.

“Have you ever stolen anything? What would that make you?” I continued.

She said a string of things I don’t remember, and am probably glad I don’t. By this time her female partner showed up and stood at the end of the drive. I acknowledged her and asked her to join our conversation. She would’nt move.

I tried involving her, but the woman I was talking to shifted to make her way of escape. She was mad. I asked her friend, “Are you a good person?”

“I’m a CHRISTIAN!” She said with poison. I hadn’t the chance to speak with her for two seconds and she was already mad at me. Not fair.

“Have you ever told a lie?” I asked.

“I been a sinner just like anyone else. But God forgives if you jus’ repent!” she fired back.

The older lady turned to me and growled, “Gimme that magazine back. You don’t need it.”

I laid two of my own tracts (“Will your Good Outweigh your Bad.” This is a zip-file) on top of the Watchtower and asked her and her friend to read it. She grabbed the top of the magazine and turned her head so she didn’t have to look at my tracts. I held them out to her again and she turned her head further away in disgust. Her friend at the end of the drive panicked and stepped forward to help her companion.

They quickly left, Watchtower crumpled in her hand.

I thanked them for stopping by and went inside for lunch.

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[i] Hey! A joke! “Why did the Jehovah's Witness cross the road? It was too far to go around!”