Bad Cold by Shel Silverstein

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  This cold is too much for my shortsleeve. Go get me a Kleenex--and fast. I sniffle and wheeze And I'm ready to sneeze And I don't know how long I can last.... Atchoo--it's to wet for a kleenex, So bring me handkerchief, quick. It's--atchoo--no joke, Now the handkerchief's soaked. Hey, a dish towel just might do the trick. Atchoo--it's too much for bath towel. There never has been such a cold. I'll be better off With that big tablecloth, No--bring me the flag off the pole. Atchoo--bring the clothes from the closet, Atchaa--get the sheets from the bed, The drapes off the window, The rugs off the floor To soak up this cold in my head. Atchoo-- hurry down to the circus And ask if they'll lend you the tent. You say they said yes? Here it comes--Lord be blessed-- Here it is--Ah-kachoooo--there it went.

Theological Underpinning of a New Denomination

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by Gayle Erwin

1. The Old Testament was filled with feasts

A. They had at least one feast every month
B. Three of those feasts lasted at least a week
C. God set up the feast system
D. God commanded that the feasts be filled with joy

2. When Jesus Came He was accused of being a glutton

A. That surely meant that he had a weight problem, since no one that you know of who was skinny was ever accused of being a glutton.
B. Most of the gospel of John was written around a table.
C. The family of Jesus (in Mark chapter 3) thought he had gone crazy because he was not eating his lunch.

3. What did Jesus leave us to remember him by? Food! Bread and wine.

4. Jesus became angry only a few times. One time was when he was hungry and a fig tree, though well leaved, did not yield any fruit. It made him angry enough to kill the tree.

5. After the Resurrection, every time you see Jesus, what is he doing? Eating!

A. Right after he appeared to the scared Apostles hidden in a room and told them not to fear, he asked them if they had anything to eat. Luke 24:41 And while they still did not believe it because of joy and amazement, he asked them, "Do you have anything here to eat?" Luke 24:42 They gave him a piece of broiled fish, Luke 24:43 and he took it and ate it in their presence.
B. The two men on the road to Emmaus did not even recognize Jesus until He sat down to eat. Then they said, "Now we know you."

6. The Early Church had only a few constant habits--items that would readily identify them. Eating together was one of them. Acts 2:46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts,

7. How is Heaven going to begin? A feast--the Marriage Supper of the Lamb.

8. In Revelation 3:20 Jesus said, "Behold I stand at the door and knock. If any man hear my voice I will come in to him and sup with him and he with me."

9. We have already had a church split. There is now a group calling itself "Church on the Weigh."

10. A heresy has also sprung up. Look out for it. It is called "Weight Watchers." We will call this new denomination "Calorie Chapel." CALORIE CHAPEL

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