Bad Cold by Shel Silverstein

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  This cold is too much for my shortsleeve. Go get me a Kleenex--and fast. I sniffle and wheeze And I'm ready to sneeze And I don't know how long I can last.... Atchoo--it's to wet for a kleenex, So bring me handkerchief, quick. It's--atchoo--no joke, Now the handkerchief's soaked. Hey, a dish towel just might do the trick. Atchoo--it's too much for bath towel. There never has been such a cold. I'll be better off With that big tablecloth, No--bring me the flag off the pole. Atchoo--bring the clothes from the closet, Atchaa--get the sheets from the bed, The drapes off the window, The rugs off the floor To soak up this cold in my head. Atchoo-- hurry down to the circus And ask if they'll lend you the tent. You say they said yes? Here it comes--Lord be blessed-- Here it is--Ah-kachoooo--there it went.

Santa Luke 2:8-15 (Kringle Jingle Version)

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8 And there were in the same country children keeping watch over their stockings by the fireplace.

9 And, Lo! Santa Clause came upon them; and they were sore afraid.

10 And Santa said unto them: "Fear not, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which shall be to all people who can afford them;

11 for unto you this day will be given feasts of turkey, dressing and cake; and many presents;

12 and this shall be a sign unto you, ye shall find the presents, wrapped in bright paper, lying beneath a tree adorned with tinsel, colored balls and lights."

13 And suddenly, there appeared a multitude of relatives and friends, praising you and saying,

14 "Thank you so much, for it was just what I wanted!"

15 And it shall come to pass as the friends and relatives have gone away into their homes, that parents shall say to one another, "What a mess to clean up! I'm tired, let's go to bed and pick it up tomorrow. Thank goodness Christmas only comes once a year!" And they go with haste to their cold bed and find their rest.

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