Someone actually came up with 17 reasons as to “Why God Never Received a PhD.” While my initial thought was “who would award it to Him?” here are my responses to each point:
1. “He had only one major publication.” This is like saying a Library only has one book. There are sixty-six books of the Bible, each “published” over the course of time.
2. “It was in Hebrew.” There are doctoral students who do publish dissertations in languages other than English. (I can’t believe I actually had to mention this). Besides, the Bible was written in Aramaic and Greek as well.
3. “It had no references.” What is one to do with Ancient Near Eastern law code (such as “the goring ox” law) and the other extra-biblical books referenced there (such as those mentioned in the books of Kings and Chronicles)?
4. “It wasn't published in a refereed journal.” The quotations of scripture in the works of early Christian writers alone are so extensive that the New Testament can be reconstructed without use of any actual manuscripts (over 32,000 citations of the New Testament are recorded before the Council of Nicea, in 325 A.D.)
5. “Some doubt he even wrote it himself.” The burden of proof lies on the objector in light of the internal evidence alone.
6. “It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?” Aside from holding everything together by His Word and ordering everything by His direct and permissive will?
7. “His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.” How, and compared to whom?
8. “The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.” The reason is because Nature itself does not have flasks of pure ingredients to pour out each in each step of processes; a real primeval pond has no screen to protect fragile amino acids from destructive wavelengths of sunlight; nature is not equipped with traps to protect compounds from others. There must be someone out there who knows something the scientific community does not.
9. “He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects.” The question of ethics is answered by the human subjects themselves.
10. “When one experiment won’t went awry he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects.” If by definition an experiment is the verification of validity, then the very outcome confirmed the hypothesis--the soul that sins will die.
11. “When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.” The subjects were given a choice and by that choice the subjects deleted themselves from the sample. God’s will is that subjects remain in the sample.
12. “He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.” Must a teacher always be in the room for student learning to occur? Perhaps if the objector had actually read the book, he would learn the proximity of the teaching professor.
13. “Some say he had his son teach the class.” What’s the point? Team teaching, guest lecturers and teachers aids are features of higher education!
14. “He expelled his first two students for learning.” What was the lesson, again?
15. “Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests.” What is your score?
16. “His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.” Are you at the right office?
17. “No record of working well with colleagues.” It’s the other way around, actually. Take this list, for example . . .
