"When I see a man in a state of anxiety, I say, 'What can this man want? If he did not want something which is not in his power, how could he still be anxious?'" (Epictetus, Discourses 13)
This thought provides a simple readiness against anxiety, pointing that that one who is anxious wants something--what is it? Resolving anxiety involves two questions:
- "What is wanted?"
- "Is the object of want withing one's power?"
This simple lesson might be coupled with another learned just this weekend, touching on Sadness and Anger.
In times of sadness we could ask, "what is missing?" This is different than anxiety. No attempt should be made to cheer unless one requests cheer; instead, one must process sadness starting with coming to grips with what is lost.
Anger is never handled well with encouragements to "calm down." This response to anger communicates the idea that the anger one feels is wrong, that it disturbs your peace. Instead of throwing gas on the fire, search out what obstacle blocked a goal that led one to choose frustration that grew into anger. Anger is never objective. One makes ourselves angry, so find deal with the unfulfilled expectation: did it involve something within one's power or control?.
Fear signals a deep concern so listen. Again, beware of sending the signal that the feeling is inappropriate. Listen. Come alongside.
In a way all these concerns are related: what is within one's power to control?
The clear answer is: one's response.
