Bad Cold by Shel Silverstein

-
  This cold is too much for my shortsleeve. Go get me a Kleenex--and fast. I sniffle and wheeze And I'm ready to sneeze And I don't know how long I can last.... Atchoo--it's to wet for a kleenex, So bring me handkerchief, quick. It's--atchoo--no joke, Now the handkerchief's soaked. Hey, a dish towel just might do the trick. Atchoo--it's too much for bath towel. There never has been such a cold. I'll be better off With that big tablecloth, No--bring me the flag off the pole. Atchoo--bring the clothes from the closet, Atchaa--get the sheets from the bed, The drapes off the window, The rugs off the floor To soak up this cold in my head. Atchoo-- hurry down to the circus And ask if they'll lend you the tent. You say they said yes? Here it comes--Lord be blessed-- Here it is--Ah-kachoooo--there it went.

My Mailbox

-
Know what's in my mailbox? Nothin'.

Well, that’s not true.

Bills. Ads.

That’s what's in my mailbox.

Found a bird’s nest in my mailbox once . . . actually, it was in the newspaper box underneath the mailbox. I'm surprised the mail-man never said anything about it. But he's not the paper-boy, so not his problem I guess. And I don't get a newspaper. Should I be surprised that nobody noticed it at all, for as long as it was there? Anyway, the nest is not there anymore. 

Actually, he's not a mailman 'cause he's a she. She's the mail-woman. 

That sounds weird.

I get no mail unless I order something, subscribe to something. In other words, I don’t get anything unless I send it to myself--or someone wants my money.

That's what's in my mailbox. 

Popular posts from this blog

Rock Me, Epictetus!

-
Image
“Keep constant guard over your perceptions, for it is no small thing you are protecting, but your respect, trustworthiness and steadiness, peace of mind, freedom from pain and fear, in a word your freedom. For what would you sell these things?” EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 4.3.6 b –8 
Read more

The Smooth-flowing Life

-
Image
Legend has it that the astronomer Ptolemy (1st century A.D.) suggested that falling stars were caused by the gods moving in the heavens, thus knocking stars out of their places. Somehow people reasoned that that if the gods were moving, they must be getting close to earth so they would lift their "prayers" or "wishes" (literally, "desires") whenever they saw the stars falling in hopes the gods would notice and grant a favorable answer. But how does one wish on falling star? Once you see it, it's gone before the wish or prayer can be made! The answer is simple: meteor shower. That's how to get your wish. Mrs. Ann Hodges had a wish fall right into her lap. Sort of. In 1954 Mrs. Hodges was sleeping on the couch when a 8 1/2 pound meteorite fell through her house and into her living room where it bounced off the radio and struck her left hip leaving her with a bruise. Not sure what she was wishing, but that's not how to do it. Epictetus hel...
Read more