I’ve wasted to much time being angry, depressed, worried and life is not slowing down. Each “tomorrow” plods along in its petty pace from day to day. The earth does not slow its orbit and we take yet another round about the sun--so why waste any more time? What will it take to be happy, even if for a moment?
Most often (for me, at least), happiness follows when I do something different, something that is not normal. Something a little crazy. Something that pushes my “red line”, that internal border that says, “here and no further.” Most frequently, those moments are found when I completely break out of my routine. I sit behind a desk nearly every day, so what does this “break” look like?
During my work-week (around noon) I get up and go the gym, change clothes and do somewhere between two to four miles of trail-running or jogging. I get hot, sweaty and a bit tired and hungry, but I also get happy. I get bird-song and tree-wind and squirrels. Sometimes (if I’m following a route at home) I get horses and geese and ducks thrown into the mix. I get clouds and blue sky and sunshine and I like to imagine I smell like Peter Pan. When I get out, I feel free and I get happy.
Each evening, I do my fitness. This makes me happy because I feel like, no matter how my day goes, I actually accomplish something. I start with something that I know will be difficult, something that challenges me, and I conquer it. Sure, I may be the guy on the ground making sweat angels and pleading for my life when it’s all over, but the training routine is history. It’s done and all I can get is stronger. This makes me very happy.
I am content when I go longer, go harder, go faster, go heavier. I find pleasure in finishing. I used to think that putting the weights DOWN made me happy, but I've learned that I am happy when I pick them up.
I am happy when I am changed. This is why I train: to change. To be unlike the person I was before. To "arrive" at my destination at the end of my life "a little late, in love and perhaps a little drunk." (Atticus).
Even if I fail a little, I can only get stronger. It is then I know that I live, learn, and do better.