The Philosophy of Umpires

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Three umpires were debating their philosophies of umpiring. "There's balls and there's strikes," says the first, "and I call 'em the way they are."

"No!" exclaimed the next. "That's arrogant! There's balls and there's strikes, and I call 'em the way I see 'em."

"That's no better," broke in the third. "Why beat around the bush? Why not be realistic about what we do? There's balls and there's strikes, and they ain't nothin' 'till I call 'em."

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