The Hellfire Club

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  “Just past the weir (going up) is Danes’ Field, where the invading Danes once encamped, during their march to Gloucestershire; and a little further still, nestling by a sweet corner of the stream, is what is left of Medmenham Abbey.   The famous Medmenham monks, or “Hell Fire Club,” as they were commonly called, and of whom the notorious Wilkes was a member, were a fraternity whose motto was “Do as you please,” and that invitation still stands over the ruined doorway of the abbey. Many years before this bogus abbey, with its congregation of irreverent jesters, was founded, there stood upon this same spot a monastery of a sterner kind, whose monks were of a somewhat different type to the revellers that were to follow them, five hundred years afterwards.  The Cistercian monks, whose abbey stood there in the thirteenth century, wore no clothes but rough tunics and cowls, and ate no flesh, nor fish, nor eggs. They lay upon straw, and they rose at midnight to mass. They spen...

The Philosophy of Umpires

Three umpires were debating their philosophies of umpiring. "There's balls and there's strikes," says the first, "and I call 'em the way they are."

"No!" exclaimed the next. "That's arrogant! There's balls and there's strikes, and I call 'em the way I see 'em."

"That's no better," broke in the third. "Why beat around the bush? Why not be realistic about what we do? There's balls and there's strikes, and they ain't nothin' 'till I call 'em."

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