Wakefield

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  “In some old magazine or newspaper I recollect a story, told as truth, of a man—let us call him Wakefield—who absented himself for a long time from his wife. The fact, thus abstractedly stated, is not very uncommon, nor, without a proper distinction of circumstances, to be condemned either as naughty or nonsensical. Howbeit, this, though far from the most aggravated, is perhaps the strangest instance on record of marital delinquency, and, moreover, as remarkable a freak as may be found in the whole list of human oddities. The wedded couple lived in London. The man, under pretense of going a journey, took lodgings in the next street to his own house, and there, unheard of by his wife or friends and without the shadow of a reason for such self-banishment, dwelt upward of twenty years. During that period he beheld his home every day, and frequently the forlorn Mrs. Wakefield. And after so great a gap in his matrimonial felicity—when his death was reckoned certain, his estate settled...

Frame Of Mind

"Consider thus: Your are an old man; no longer yourself be enslaved by this any longer (and) no longer be pulled by the strings like a puppet by every impulse, and stop complaining about your present fortune or dreading the future." (Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 2.2)

One of our Trustees here at the University is the CEO of Krispy Kreme Donuts. Do you know what that means? Well, if you were on campus the other day, you most likely would have been standing in line for your Hot and Fresh prior to Chapel. I mean that's the rule, right? When donuts are present, you MUST eat them. Right? I didn't. 

Don't get me wrong, but just because they are hot and melty and have the tendency to just melt on the tip of your tongue does not mean that one MUST have one just because it's there. Of course someone might say, "do you do the same with chocolate chip cookie dough?" We're not talking about cookie dough. We're talking about donuts. We're talking about frame of mind. 

Let's say you are talking with someone and they say something disagreeable. Do you eventually find yourself arguing and wonder "how did this start" but it's too late to change anything? Why or how did we learn the habit of feeling obligated to prove we are right about anything? Why do we get angry if someone does something we don't like? The point is: we don't have to! 

Something bad happens: why worry? Why get sad? Somebody's bound to have it worse. The Masai tribesmen who donated 14 head of cattle to the City of New York in response to the disaster of 9/11 understood this.

We like it when good things happen--we like to feel good. But one thing unexpected happens and we're like


Why do we do this to ourselves? 

Check how you think and feel.
Are those feelings/thoughts appropriate for what is happening?
Do they fit the situation at all?




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