Bad Cold by Shel Silverstein

  This cold is too much for my shortsleeve. Go get me a Kleenex--and fast. I sniffle and wheeze And I'm ready to sneeze And I don't know how long I can last.... Atchoo--it's to wet for a kleenex, So bring me handkerchief, quick. It's--atchoo--no joke, Now the handkerchief's soaked. Hey, a dish towel just might do the trick. Atchoo--it's too much for bath towel. There never has been such a cold. I'll be better off With that big tablecloth, No--bring me the flag off the pole. Atchoo--bring the clothes from the closet, Atchaa--get the sheets from the bed, The drapes off the window, The rugs off the floor To soak up this cold in my head. Atchoo-- hurry down to the circus And ask if they'll lend you the tent. You say they said yes? Here it comes--Lord be blessed-- Here it is--Ah-kachoooo--there it went.

Dear God, bless the status quo

Dear God, bless the status quo,
We like things as they are.
Lead us not down narrow roads,
Let us go not far.

We've built our houses, set up shop,
We've conqur'd mount and range.
Then sea, now space (we'll never stop);
Just don't ask us to change.

We like our gospel nice and soft,
our preaching short and sweet;
Our music loud, our buffet oft'n,
and prophets on the street.

The truths too sharp for tickled ears,
It shaves our nice, warm fuzzies.
Growth takes too long (we want it now!),
Not Bible-thumped head noogies.

We'll hold our right to stand our ground,
To keep and not divest
those things we have that serve us most,
Of fleshly inter-est.

It's hard to live by what's not seen,
Ease shapes our lives so much.
Now hurry up those points and poems,
so we can go to lunch!

There is a foe who roams this world,
That kills good church bus’ness;
He only watches for himself--
That enemy is us!

(Inspired by John Betjeman's WWII poem, "In Westminster Abbey.")

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