Enchiridion 13: You Can't Have Both; or, "If you want to improve" (part 2)

"If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid with regard to external things. Don't wish to be thought to know anything; and even if you appear to be somebody important to others, distrust yourself. For, it is difficult to both keep your faculty of choice in a state conformable to nature, and at the same time acquire external things. But while you are careful about the one, you must of necessity neglect the other." (Epictetus, Enchiridion 13)

This is the second iteration of "If you want to improve," so there's more to learn. We can always improve. The principle again involves choice that we have no choice but to make. To understand the principle, you must first know there are two "realms" or two option involved with the application of our choice, which in turn, should help us become a better person (having made the right one).

If you want to make progress in becoming a better person:

1. " . . . be content to be thought foolish and stupid with regard to external things." Perhaps the best way to illustrate this would be to consider that rare person who is more interested in protecting their mind, integrity and moral character over watching the news, using social media, getting "plugged in." I work with people who for years have had no cell phone, no laptop--they stayed in the "stone age"--but they are brilliant, upright leaders. Are they foolish because these are the ones sought out for advice, for wisdom>

2. "Don't wish to be thought to know anything." If you pay attention to anything at all, you do actually know something. But does this mean that because you know something that you must tell others? Another way to say this would be, "don't burden others with what they may not care to know." Nobody cares to know about everything you read, what you know. Be keen to if/when people are receptive. Be content to keep your thoughts to yourself.

3.  " . . .  if you appear to be somebody important to others, distrust yourself." Recently someone bragged, "those people look up to me." There was no reason for such a boast beyond the obvious fact that the speaker was taller.  This same person has more Facebook friends than anyone I know (no pun intended) but truthfully, most of those "friends" are total strangers. Arrogance and focusing on externals are dangerous and horrible diseases. Don't be a fake. But what if someone shares a genuine praise? Accept the words with humility, but don't dwell on them.

CONCLUSION:

" For, it is difficult to both keep your faculty of choice in a state conformable to nature, and at the same time acquire external things. But while you are careful about the one, you must of necessity neglect the other." 

Here's the inescapable choice: you can either control what you are able (how you respond) or you can "have it all" and allow what is external define your identity. You can't have both.