Enchiridion 15: Life As A Dinner Party

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"Remember that you must behave in life as at a dinner party. Is anything brought around to you? Put out your hand and take your share with moderation. Does it pass by you? Don't stop it. Is it not yet come? Don't stretch your desire towards it, but wait till it reaches you. Do this with regard to children, to a wife, to public posts, to riches, and you will eventually be a worthy partner of the feasts of the gods. And if you don't even take the things which are set before you, but are able even to reject them, then you will not only be a partner at the feasts of the gods, but also of their empire. For, by doing this, Diogenes, Heraclitus and others like them, deservedly became, and were called, divine." (Epictetus, Enchiridion 15)

Imagine a situation where protocol, manners are everything. Epictetus imagines a dinner party, where we are on our best behavior. When the food is passed, take with moderation. If it goes by, don't chase it. Wait your turn.

Do this with regard to life. That which makes up a life is "passed around." Some things will come to you, some will not. Some have the blessing of children, others don't. If you have children, that's your present blessing. If not, you have a future blessing of another kind. You may not understand what it is right now, but your day of blessing will come. Your blessing will be unique. The same is true with spouse, with your role in the community, with riches, anything. 

If an opportunity presents itself, consider to take it if it falls according to nature; but, don't "put the cart before the horse." Don't try to make something happen that won't. Or can't. Forcing something to happen will work against you. Things break that way. 

Besides, it's arrogant, inconsiderate, selfish. You have a choice to take or reject an opportunity. If it passes you might not get it again, so choose wisely as long as the choice remains in your control. 


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