Grief

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Sometimes the news comes quick. Sometimes the news comes slow. No matter how or when it comes, grief travels in the wake of the news. Grief is heavy, weighty, a burden, especially when it involves someone deeply loved. Grief is not meant to be carried alone. It’s too heavy and may last a while—and that’s ok. That’s what family and friends are for, to share the load. Jesus stood outside the tomb of his friend and wept but He did not weep alone. It was a deep, human moment. “ Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted ” (Matt 5:4). If anyone knows how we feel in grief, it’s Him. But His grief did not linger long, as at the mention of his name, Lazarus came forth. We are not meant to dwell in grief, but should leave room enough for it. Let it run its course. Like the song says, “ Every Storm Runs Out Of Rain .” Another song says, “ The storm We will dance as it breaks The storm It will give as it takes And all of our pain is washed away Don't cry or be afraid Some things...

Enchiridion 15: Life As A Dinner Party

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"Remember that you must behave in life as at a dinner party. Is anything brought around to you? Put out your hand and take your share with moderation. Does it pass by you? Don't stop it. Is it not yet come? Don't stretch your desire towards it, but wait till it reaches you. Do this with regard to children, to a wife, to public posts, to riches, and you will eventually be a worthy partner of the feasts of the gods. And if you don't even take the things which are set before you, but are able even to reject them, then you will not only be a partner at the feasts of the gods, but also of their empire. For, by doing this, Diogenes, Heraclitus and others like them, deservedly became, and were called, divine." (Epictetus, Enchiridion 15)

Imagine a situation where protocol, manners are everything. Epictetus imagines a dinner party, where we are on our best behavior. When the food is passed, take with moderation. If it goes by, don't chase it. Wait your turn.

Do this with regard to life. That which makes up a life is "passed around." Some things will come to you, some will not. Some have the blessing of children, others don't. If you have children, that's your present blessing. If not, you have a future blessing of another kind. You may not understand what it is right now, but your day of blessing will come. Your blessing will be unique. The same is true with spouse, with your role in the community, with riches, anything. 

If an opportunity presents itself, consider to take it if it falls according to nature; but, don't "put the cart before the horse." Don't try to make something happen that won't. Or can't. Forcing something to happen will work against you. Things break that way. 

Besides, it's arrogant, inconsiderate, selfish. You have a choice to take or reject an opportunity. If it passes you might not get it again, so choose wisely as long as the choice remains in your control. 


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