The Wall

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“What a dear old wall that is that runs along by the river there! I never pass it without feeling better for the sight of it. Such a mellow, bright, sweet old wall; what a charming picture it would make, with the lichen creeping here, and the moss growing there, a shy young vine peeping over the top at this spot, to see what is going on upon the busy river, and the sober old ivy clustering a little farther down! There are fifty shades and tints and hues in every ten yards of that old wall. . . . It looks so peaceful and so quiet, and it is such a dear old place to ramble round in the early morning before many people are about.” Jerome K. Jerome, “Three Men In A Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog)” Ch. 6 (1889)

Enchiridion 6: Beware the Second-hand

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"Don't be prideful with any excellence that is not your own. If a horse should be prideful and say, 'I am handsome," it would be supportable. But when you are prideful, and say, " I have a handsome horse," know that you are proud of what is, in fact, only the good of the horse. What, then, is your own? Only your reaction to the appearances of things. Thus, when you behave conformably to nature in reaction to how things appear, you will be proud with reason; for you will take pride in some good of your own." (Epictetus, Enchiridion 6)

"Be not a busy-body in other men's affairs" is a mantra I heard frequently in my younger years, and for good reason, namely that other people's business was simply that--their business. Don't be nosy. Let your thoughts and feelings be genuine, your own. Be aware of how you think or feel and make certain you have not assumed the thoughts, feeling, even the experience of someone else, as your own. In short, it's rude, arrogant, prideful.

Maintain control and support others by allowing them to display their own excellence, anger, frustration, joy without becoming an uninvited champion of a cause that is not your own. If they call you to celebrate with them, then do that. If they call for support during a tough time, then do that: empathize, sympathize, but don't plagiarize. 

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