“How Came I Hither?”

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  “I observed in the herbage a number of weather-worn stones, evidently shaped with tools. They were broken, covered with moss and half sunken in the earth. Some lay prostrate, some leaned at various angles, none was vertical. They were obviously headstones of graves, though the graves themselves no longer existed as either mounds or depressions; the years had leveled all. Scattered here and there, more massive blocks showed where some pompous tomb or ambitious monument had once flung its feeble defiance at oblivion. So old seemed these relics, these vestiges of vanity and memorials of affection and piety, so battered and worn and stained—so neglected, deserted, forgotten the place, that I could not help thinking myself the discoverer of the burial-ground of a prehistoric race of men whose very name was long extinct. Filled with these reflections, I was for some time heedless of the sequence of my own experiences, but soon I thought, “How came I hither?”” An Inhabitant of Carcosa B...

Enchiridion 6: Beware the Second-hand

"Don't be prideful with any excellence that is not your own. If a horse should be prideful and say, 'I am handsome," it would be supportable. But when you are prideful, and say, " I have a handsome horse," know that you are proud of what is, in fact, only the good of the horse. What, then, is your own? Only your reaction to the appearances of things. Thus, when you behave conformably to nature in reaction to how things appear, you will be proud with reason; for you will take pride in some good of your own." (Epictetus, Enchiridion 6)

"Be not a busy-body in other men's affairs" is a mantra I heard frequently in my younger years, and for good reason, namely that other people's business was simply that--their business. Don't be nosy. Let your thoughts and feelings be genuine, your own. Be aware of how you think or feel and make certain you have not assumed the thoughts, feeling, even the experience of someone else, as your own. In short, it's rude, arrogant, prideful.

Maintain control and support others by allowing them to display their own excellence, anger, frustration, joy without becoming an uninvited champion of a cause that is not your own. If they call you to celebrate with them, then do that. If they call for support during a tough time, then do that: empathize, sympathize, but don't plagiarize. 

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