Grief

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Sometimes the news comes quick. Sometimes the news comes slow. No matter how or when it comes, grief travels in the wake of the news. Grief is heavy, weighty, a burden, especially when it involves someone deeply loved. Grief is not meant to be carried alone. It’s too heavy and may last a while—and that’s ok. That’s what family and friends are for, to share the load. Jesus stood outside the tomb of his friend and wept but He did not weep alone. It was a deep, human moment. “ Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted ” (Matt 5:4). If anyone knows how we feel in grief, it’s Him. But His grief did not linger long, as at the mention of his name, Lazarus came forth. We are not meant to dwell in grief, but should leave room enough for it. Let it run its course. Like the song says, “ Every Storm Runs Out Of Rain .” Another song says, “ The storm We will dance as it breaks The storm It will give as it takes And all of our pain is washed away Don't cry or be afraid Some things...

Enchiridion 45, (Supplimental): Perception

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Yesterday a few short comments were posted regarding Enchiridion 45, but the post was incomplete. Please consider this supplemental: 


"Does anyone bathe in a mighty little time? Don't say that he does it ill, but in a mighty little time. Does anyone drink a great quantity of wine? Don't say that he does ill, but that he drinks a great quantity. For, unless you perfectly understand the principle from which anyone acts, how should you know if he acts ill? Thus you will not run the hazard of assenting to any appearances but such as you fully comprehend." (Epictetus, Enchiridion 45)

Couched within these words is the Stoic principle of "calling a thing what it is." This is an exercise in perception. Epictetus makes you think about what you see: a person takes a quick bath--what do you say about it? "You did that wrong"? Or someone drinks too much. Do you pass judgement about it and say that what the person does is wrong? Instead you should say, "that was a short bath" or "that guy drinks alot." This is not passing judgment, but calling an act what it is.

Consider the example of Marcus Aurelius: when your food is presented before you, call it what it is--dead fish, dead bird, dead pig, grape juice, etc. Look at your clothes: sheep's wool dyed with blood of a shell-fish. See things as they are. Call things what they are. 

In checking your perception, you reserve judgement for things that actually matter. If you say (for example) that taking a short bath is wrong or bad, then what do we say when a person actually does something morally wrong or bad? Do you make bathing a moral act? No. So why judge them equally? Marcus Aurelius instructs to make proper use of reason, to be careful with language. 

One place this becomes helpful is during periods of suffering. The story is told of Epictetus being beat by his master. In so many words, Epictetus warned his master, "keep doing that and you will break my leg." His master did not relent and broke Epictetus' leg. His response? "Now you've done it." 

There is strength in calling a thing what it is. It keeps one grounded to reality. 

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