Head-dibs

(the following playlist was covered by the Crossings Community Church worship team, arranged and directed by Brandon Auten. Ten singers, five guitars, three keyboards, two drums sets, one bass, one violin and one cello and the best sound and lighting team in the world.) THE GLORY OF CHRISTMAS THE REASON FOR CHRISTMAS THE SUFFERING IN CHRISTMAS THE SON OF CHRISTMAS: "what have I done to deserve a love like this?" THE SAVIOR IN CHRISTMAS

This writer said it best: "I often read the ancients. Marcus Aurelius, Seneca and Epictetus feel like old friends. This may sound pretentious. I don’t care. They feel like people whose company I would have loved. They talk about timeless issues and this makes them real to me. They are not blighted by prejudice or dogma. They are honest and open in their musings. They don’t hide their flaws. They are not seeking sainthood just wisdom. They are seekers of the “good life.” They are sincere in their quest for understanding what is the best way for a human to live his or her life. To encounter such voices is to recognise that others have thought the same thoughts, experienced the same feelings, sadnesses and joys." From Peter Lyon's timely article, " Musings Of A Blind Stoic ."

I'm at the point in my life where I could be happy with a small armload of books. When I survey the blocks of paper occupying my shelves, I am grateful for the minds who share their thoughts in them, but it's a crowd of voices. I'd like to surround myself with a few great men who have great things to say--the kind of men who would pull a knife from their pocket, slice off a chunk of apple and ruminate with horse-sense on things that really matter. I am spending some time with an old friend I've not visited in well over 30 years. I'm out on a pond outside Concord, Massachusetts. You might know the place, on the way to Boston. You might know my friend, the anarchist Henry David Thoreau. Giving the Stoics a break, I'm reading Thoreau's "Walden And Civil Disobedience" with pencil in hand. No agenda. Just visiting. Just one book from the pile I'd rescue from a fire or wouldn't mind being stranded with. (I carry three in my backpack at all t...

"Anything that can be prevented, taken away or coerced is not a person's own. But those things that can't be blocked are their own." (Epictetus, Discourses, 3.2.4) Think for a moment about the the things you work so hard for. Think also about someone you may know who works so much harder for something you would consider less, beyond daily living. How many scrape and claw and fight and sweat and grieve over one model of car or piece of electronics? There are some amazing refrigerators out there, some with computers built right into the door. Truth is, like any other refrigerator, it's going to break down. Something is bound to stop working. The only difference between that one and mine is that mine is going to be less expensive to repair. But what is really yours? What do you really own? As it stands, you may have forgotten how some bank somewhere might actually own all your stuff. It's not yours. Yet. The car I've been driving for years will finall...

“People say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life. I don’t think that’s what we’re really seeking. I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances with our own innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive.” ―Joseph Campbell (1904–1987), Professor of Literature

Last month I was challenged to run 100 miles with a friend, but by month's end we came up 4 miles short due to sickness. That sort of pictures most things I try--great starts and lousy finishes. At first I am disappointed when I come up short or fail but then I remember that sometimes I'm not supposed to finish. Failure becomes training ground. Like all those journeys and expeditions you read of where great explorers packed up their gear and left for months or years--some to die, some to fail, few to finish. That's the way it goes. At least we tried. Had we not tried, we would never know what we could or could not do. There's always another chance to try again, as long as we live. That's how great things get done. By trying. But I am getting ahead of myself . . . As December begins, one wonders how to begin a new month while also thinking about closing out another year. This last year I've been reading The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday. Each month has a th...

" The Daily Stoic " by Ryan Holiday

Thank you for holding.

Please enjoy this interlude while I take a few days to get caught up on projects and prepare for the on-coming holiday season.

 This is a long and complicated letter , so I'll do my best to share what I think lies at the heart. Thank you in advance for thinking with me. "Hecato says : 'I can show you a philtre [potion], compounded without drugs, herbs, or any witch's incantation: 'If you be loved, love.' "  And what is love? Later in this letter, Seneca defines love as "friendship run mad."  He goes on:  "Now there is great pleasure, not only in maintaining old and established friendships, but also in beginning and acquiring new ones. There is the same difference between winning a new friend and having already won him, as there is between the farmer who sows and the farmer who reaps. The philosopher Attalus used to say: 'It is more pleasant to make than to keep a friend, as it is more pleasant to the artist to paint than to have finished painting.'"  What is the purpose of friendship? Is it to collect people for the purpose of support or...

Closing the last letter "On Crowds," the good Senator Seneca includes three quotes that provide the perfect segue into the topic of this letter. First, in contrast to "Mob Rules," consider "Democritus [who] says: 'One man means as much to me as a multitude, and a multitude only as much as one man.'" Second, Seneca refers to ol' whats-his-name, "someone or other" who was asked if he cared if his study reached only a few. "I am content with few, content with one, content with none at all."  Good ol' Stoic indifference! The final quote "by Epicurus, written to one of the partners of his studies: 'I write this not for the many, but for you; each of us is enough of an audience for the other.'"  And so he signs off: "Lay these words to heart, Lucilius, that you may scorn the pleasure which comes from the applause of the majority. Many men praise you; but have you any reason for being pleased wi...

This scene from "Gladiator" acts out with near perfection a section of Seneca's letter. Please watch this before moving ahead to my video: Thank you. Click here for the entirety of Seneca's 7th letter .

Read Seneca's letter on Shared Knowledge here.

Read The Fifth Letter  

Read Seneca's letter online After I made the above-video, I remembered the song Eric Clapton wrote after the death of his four-year-old son, Conor. It's an imaginative piece, a song of a father who not only wants to spend time with his son, but has also reconciled with death: "beyond the door, there's peace, I'm sure."

Read the entirety of this short letter here .

"  . . . restlessness is the sign of a disordered spirit. . . a well-ordered mind is a man’s ability to remain in one place and linger in his own company." (Seneca, Letter 2)

Of all the screen shots in the world, YouTube had to pick that one. smh. Download all three of volumes of The Moral Letters from Tim's site free of charge . "[S]et yourself free for your own sake; gather and save your time, which till lately has been forced from you, or filched away, or has merely slipped from your hands. Make yourself believe the truth of my words—that certain moments are torn from us, that some are gently removed, and that others glide beyond our reach. The most disgraceful kind of loss, however, is that due to carelessness. Furthermore, if you will pay close heed to the problem, you will find that the largest portion of our life passes while we are doing ill, a goodly share while we are doing nothing, and the whole while we are doing that which is not to the purpose."  (Seneca, Letters 1) CORRECTIONS Two errors in the video: 1) I incorrectly stated the letter was written in Greek. After reading Epictetus in Greek last month, my mind di...

Epictetus ends the Enchiridion quoting poetry and the final lines communicate the final, and perhaps greatest lesson. Quoting Euripides (a writer of Greek drama and tragedy) Epictetus gives what sounds like a blessing, saying, "Whoe'er yields properly to Fate is deemed Wise among men, and knows the laws of Heaven.” Take a moment to ponder the consequence to the one who will not yield to wisdom. Listen to the voice of wisdom. "Wisdom cries aloud in the street, in the markets she raises her voice; at the head of the noisy streets she cries out; at the entrance of the city gates she speaks: 'How long, O simple ones, will you love being simple? How long will scoffers delight in their scoffing and fools hate knowledge? If you turn at my reproof, behold, I will pour out my spirit to you; I will make my words known to you!'" (Proverbs 1:20-23)

"Never call yourself a philosopher, nor talk a great deal among the unlearned about theorems, but act conformably to them. Thus, at an entertainment, don't talk how persons ought to eat, but eat as you ought. For remember that in this manner Socrates also universally avoided all ostentation. And when persons came to him and desired to be recommended by him to philosophers, he took and- recommended them, so well did he bear being overlooked. So that if ever any talk should happen among the unlearned concerning philosophic theorems, be you, for the most part, silent. For there is great danger in immediately throwing out what you have not digested. And, if anyone tells you that you know nothing, and you are not nettled at it, then you may be sure that you have begun your business. For sheep don't throw up the grass to show the shepherds how much they have eaten; but, inwardly digesting their food, they outwardly produce wool and milk. Thus, therefore, do you likewise not sho...

"If any one tells you that such a person speaks ill of you, do not make excuses about what is said of you, but answer: 'He was ignorant of my other faults, else he would not have mentioned these alone.'" (Epictetus, Enchiridion 33h)

"When you do anything from a clear judgment that it ought to be done, never shrink from being seen to do it, even though the world should misunderstand it; for if you are not acting rightly, shun the action itself; if you are, why fear those who wrongly censure you?" (Epictetus, Enchiridion 35)

" Be mostly silent; or speak merely what is needful, and in few words. We may, however, enter sparingly into discourse sometimes, when occasion calls for it; but let it not run on any of the common subjects, as gladiators, or horse-races, or athletic champions, or food, or drink, -the vulgar topics of conversation; and especially not on men, so as either to blame, or praise, or make comparisons. If you are able, then, by your own conversation, bring over that of your company to proper subjects; but if you happen to find yourself among strangers, be silent." (Epictetus, Enchiridion 33b) Don't weigh others down with trivialities or use words that will embarrass others or yourself. Avoid saying something you'll regret, out of or anger or carelessness or passion. Say what is needful for the moment. Talk about what matters or be quiet.

Yesterday a few short comments were posted regarding Enchiridion 45, but the post was incomplete. Please consider this supplemental:  "Does anyone bathe in a mighty little time? Don't say that he does it ill, but in a mighty little time. Does anyone drink a great quantity of wine? Don't say that he does ill, but that he drinks a great quantity. For, unless you perfectly understand the principle from which anyone acts, how should you know if he acts ill? Thus you will not run the hazard of assenting to any appearances but such as you fully comprehend." (Epictetus, Enchiridion 45) Couched within these words is the Stoic principle of "calling a thing what it is." This is an exercise in perception. Epictetus makes you think about what you see: a person takes a quick bath--what do you say about it? "You did that wrong"? Or someone drinks too much. Do you pass judgement about it and say that what the person does is wrong? Instead you should s...

"Avoid public and vulgar entertainments; but if ever an occasion calls you to them, keep your attention upon the stretch, that you may not imperceptibly slide into vulgarity. For be assured that if a person be ever so pure himself, yet, if his companion be corrupted, he who converses with him will be corrupted likewise." (Epictetus, Enchiridion 33e) Vulgarity only demonstrates lack of personal control and knowledge of vocabulary. Set a high standard, one of dignity, of self-mastery. Nobody lingers around what is putrid. What is gained by fetid language or entertainment? 

"Does anyone bathe in a mighty little time? Don't say that he does it ill, but in a mighty little time. Does anyone drink a great quantity of wine? Don't say that he does ill, but that he drinks a great quantity. For, unless you perfectly understand the principle from which anyone acts, how should you know if he acts ill? Thus you will not run the hazard of assenting to any appearances but such as you fully comprehend." (Epictetus, Enchiridion 45) Reading this one is the reminded of the "here, just let me do it" syndrome. You know it.  Someone is preparing eggs for scrambling and she beats them with a fork. But you would have used a whisk! Or beaters! "Here, let me do it!" And all is well with the world now.  Or you are doing a project and someone asks if they can help so you let them, but they are doing that one thing in such a way that you just . . . "here let me do it." And all is well with the world. Again. 

These reasonings have no logical connection: 'I am richer than you; therefore I am your superior.' 'I am more eloquent than you; therefore I am your superior.' The true logical connection is rather this: 'I am richer than you; therefore my possessions must exceed yours.' ' I am more eloquent than you; therefore my style must surpass yours.' But you, after all, consist neither in property nor in style." (Epictetus, Enchiridion 44) Remember that old saying, "whoever has all the toys at the end, wins"? It's not true. Anyone thinking himself or herself better than another does not know who they are. Anyone who roots their identity in property or talent comes up woefully short. How did one determine his property or talent was the standard, to begin with? Could someone be still more richer? What happens to superiority then? Is copper able to purchase the same as gold? Is being fluent in one language mean one is proficient in all lan...

"When any person does ill by you, or speaks ill of you, remember that he acts or speaks from an impression that it is right for him to do so. Now, it is not possible that he should follow what appears right to you, but only what appears so to himself. Therefore, if he judges from false appearances, he is the person hurt; since he too is the person deceived. For if any one takes a true proposition to be false, the proposition is not hurt, but only the man is deceived. Setting out, then, from these principles, you will meekly bear with a person who reviles you; for you will say upon every occasion, 'It seemed so to him.'" (Epictetus, Enchiridion 42) Read that again, please. Slowly. You'll be glad you did then consider The Dude's response to hateful speech (left). One's opinion is simply that: an opinion. But there are other ways this could unfold, so I give you . . . A REAL LIFE STORY Recently someone close did something blatantly wrong and had to ...

"It is a mark of want of intellect, to spend much time in things relating to the body; as to be immoderate in exercises, in eating and drinking, and in the discharge of other animal functions. These things should be done incidentally and our main strength be applied to our reason." (Epictetus, Enchiridion 41) I can't help but wonder what the background is to this statement. I've not read enough Stoic philosophy to get the full picture of the principle. One feature that seems clear (key word: "seems"--in my opinion) is that Epictetus is making a statement against Epicurianism. In sweeping over-generalizations, permit me to explain what I do understand: Epicurianism held that "good" is whatever brings the most pleasure, so that which brings happiness is what is worth pursuing. "Do what you like" or "do your own thing" as long as it does not interfere with the happiness of someone else. Stoicism, on the other hand, advocates v...

"When walking, you are careful not to step on a nail or turn your foot; so likewise be careful not to hurt the ruling faculty of your mind. And, if we were to guard against this in every action, we should undertake the action with the greater safety." (Epictetus, Enchiridion 38) Recently I saw a post where a barefoot runner asked his neighbors to clear the acorns off the sidewalks that lined his running route. His neighbors responses were (how shall we say), "insightful," such as "try wearing shoes" and the like. As a trail runner myself, I am tempted to contribute a thought or three, but my opinion is only that: an opinion (such as "embrace the suck, buddy. That's the joy of barefoot running."). I recall visiting the Cayman Islands as a boy (above, napping after snorkeling in the cove) and how we had to wear shoes near the waterfront due the exposed coral that jutted it's sharp black teeth upward. No sand along the shore: just c...

"If you have assumed any character above your strength, you have both made an ill figure in that [one] and quitted one which you might have supported." (Epictetus, Enchiridion 37) See yesterday's post:  Enchridion 23: Contentment "If you live in harmony with nature you will never be poor; if you live according to what others think, you will never be rich."   (Seneca)

"If you ever happen to turn your attention to externals for the pleasure of any one, be assured that you have ruined your scheme of life. Be contented then, in everything, with being a philosopher; and if you wish to seem so likewise to any one, appear so to yourself, and it will suffice you."  (Epictetus, Enchiridion 23) The principle is simple: be content with who you are. “We all love ourselves more than other people, but care about their opinion more than our own." (Marcus Aurelius) Simple, and worth the meditation.

"If you have an earnest desire of attaining to philosophy, prepare yourself from the very first to be laughed at, to be sneered by the multitude, to hear them say, 'He is returned to us a philosopher all at once,' and 'Whence this supercilious look?' Now, for your part, don't have a supercilious look indeed; but keep steadily to those things which appear best to you as one appointed by God to this station. For remember that, if you adhere to the same point, those very persons who at first ridiculed will afterwards admire you. But if you are conquered by them, you will incur a double ridicule."  (Epictetus, Enchiridion 22) There's no reason to make a show of whatever you do (practicing the love of wisdom, pursuing self improvement or diet, engaging in some kind of training--preaching to the choir here). People will see changes as you make them and may at first respond in less encouraging ways. Make sure to exercise humility. No need to put on airs a...

"Let death and exile, and all other things which appear terrible be daily before your eyes, but chiefly death, and you will never entertain any abject thought, nor too eagerly covet anything." (Epictetus, Enchiridion 21) Stratospheric traces of our transitory flight Trails of condensation held in narrow bands of white The sun is turning black The world is turning gray All the stars fade from the night The oceans drain away Horizon to Horizon memory written on the wind Fading away, like an hourglass, grain by grain Swept away like voices in a hurricane In a vapor trail Atmospheric phases make the transitory last Vaporize the memories that freeze the fading past Silence all the songbirds Stilled by the killing frost Forests burn to ashes Everything is lost Washed away like footprints in the rain In a vapor trail

"When you see anyone weeping in grief because his son has gone abroad, or is dead, or because he has suffered in his affairs, be careful that the appearance may not misdirect you. Instead, distinguish within your own mind, and be prepared to say, 'It's not the accident that distresses this person, because it doesn't distress another person; it is the judgment which he makes about it.' As far as words go, however, don't reduce yourself to his level, and certainly do not moan with him. Do not moan inwardly either." (Epictetus, Enchiridion 16) Think of this as a case study: someone you know is in some kind of distress. What do you do? What should you say? Stoic philosophy provides a lens through which one may view and choose as it is not external matters that negatively affect you, but the judgment about those matters. So what steps do we take when facing an external event? What is the source of harm or negative effect on you? First (in this ca...

"Remember that you must behave in life as at a dinner party. Is anything brought around to you? Put out your hand and take your share with moderation. Does it pass by you? Don't stop it. Is it not yet come? Don't stretch your desire towards it, but wait till it reaches you. Do this with regard to children, to a wife, to public posts, to riches, and you will eventually be a worthy partner of the feasts of the gods. And if you don't even take the things which are set before you, but are able even to reject them, then you will not only be a partner at the feasts of the gods, but also of their empire. For, by doing this, Diogenes, Heraclitus and others like them, deservedly became, and were called, divine." (Epictetus, Enchiridion 15) Imagine a situation where protocol, manners are everything. Epictetus imagines a dinner party, where we are on our best behavior. When the food is passed, take with moderation. If it goes by, don't chase it. Wait your turn. ...

"If you wish your children and your wife and your friends to live forever, you are foolish for you wish things to be in your power which are not so; and what belongs to others to be your own. So likewise, if you wish your servant to be without fault, you are foolish for you wish vice not to be vice, but something else. But if you wish not to be disappointed in your desires, that is in your own power. Exercise therefore, what is in your power. A man's master is he who is able to confer or remove whatever that man seeks or shuns. Whoever then would be free, let him wish nothing, let him decline nothing, which depends on others; else he must necessarily be a slave." (Epictetus, Enchiridion 14) I gotta Fortune Cookie written by a Chinese Stoic the other day. How fortunate! It's a goofy pic, so don't read into it too much. My Fortune Cookie (a little Stoic humor tucked away in there) reminds us that that we only control what is in our power, so we are able to...

"If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid with regard to external things. Don't wish to be thought to know anything; and even if you appear to be somebody important to others, distrust yourself. For, it is difficult to both keep your faculty of choice in a state conformable to nature, and at the same time acquire external things. But while you are careful about the one, you must of necessity neglect the other." (Epictetus, Enchiridion 13) This is the second iteration of "If you want to improve," so there's more to learn. We can always improve. The principle again involves choice that we have no choice but to make. To understand the principle, you must first know there are two "realms" or two option involved with the application of our choice, which in turn, should help us become a better person (having made the right one). If you want to make progress in becoming a better person: 1. " . . .  be content to be ...

"If you would improve, lay aside such reasonings as these: 'If I neglect my affairs, I shall not have a maintenance; if I do not punish my servant, he will be good for nothing.' For it were better to die of hunger, exempt from grief and fear, than to live in affluence with perturbation; and it is better that your servant should be bad than you unhappy. Begin therefore with little things. Is a little oil spilled or a little wine stolen? Say to yourself, 'This is the price paid for peace and tranquillity; and nothing is to be had for nothing.' And when you call your servant, consider that it is possible he may not come at your call; or, if he does, that he may not do what you wish. But it is not at all desirable for him, and very undesirable for you, that it should be in his power to cause you any disturbance." (Epictetus, Enchiridion 11) They got it pretty close: peace of mind does not depend on circumstances or other people. So, are you happy? Conten...

"Never say of anything, 'I have lost it;' but, 'I have restored it.' Has your child died? It is restored. Has your wife died? She is restored. Has your estate been taken away? That likewise is restored. 'But it was a bad man who took it.' What is it to you by whose hands he who gave it has demanded it again? While he permits you to possess it, hold it as something not your own; as do travelers at an inn." (Epictetus, Enchiridion 11) All you have, including life itself, is on loan. You are a traveler who borrows a bed for a while before going on your way. Every person and every thing you enjoy comes and goes.  The word translated "restored" (ἀποδίδωμι, "apodidomi" a compound word of: ἀπο (apo)--"from, away from"; and δίδωμι (didomi)-- "give") is also translated as: give away, give up, give out, give back, repay, pay out (such as taxes), render, reward. It also includes the idea of fulfilling a duty. A han...

"With every accident, ask yourself what abilities you have for making a proper use of it. If you see an attractive person, you will find that self-restraint is the ability you have against your desire. If you are in pain, you will find fortitude. If you hear unpleasant language, you will find patience. And thus habituated, the appearances of things will not hurry you away along with them." (Epictetus, Enchiridion 10) Make use of every opportunity. Our "knee-jerk" reactions gets us in trouble, acting as animals, instinctively, to the environment. Someone attractive crosses your path and you linger with a longer look. But you don't have to. People are attractive, but that does not mean you must let go the floodgates of desire. There is no personal strength in permitting the chemicals run free. Someone is mean so you are mean right back, without hesitation. But you don't have to. Sudden onset pain causes you to jump and shout obscenity. But you don'...

"Within a ten-month period, [Rush drummer and lyricist] Neil Peart suffered family losses so devastating that they left him a ghost -- physically a man but with nothing. No hope, meaning, faith, or desire to keep living. One year after the first tragedy, Neil was choosing between life and his own death. Finally, all he could decide upon was motion. He got on his BMW R1100GS motorcycle, and over the next 14 months, rode 55,000 miles, in search of a reason to live. On a journey of escape, exile, and exploration, he traveled from Quebec to Alaska, down the Canadian and American coasts and western regions, to Mexico and Belize, and finally back to Quebec. While riding 'the Healing Road,' Neil recorded in his journals his progress and setbacks in the grieving /healing process, and the pain of constantly reliving his losses. He also recorded with dazzling, colorful, entertaining, and moving artistry, the enormous range of his travel adventures, from the mountains to the sea,...

"Sickness is a hindrance to the body, but not to your ability to choose, unless that is your choice. Lameness is a hindrance to the leg, but not to your ability to choose. Say this to yourself with regard to everything that happens, then you will see such obstacles as hindrances to something else, but not to yourself." (Epictetus, Enchiridion 9) Every situation we experience is accompanied by a choice on our part. Sickness is a sign that all is not well with the body. There is no choice when sickness comes to the body, but how does one "be" while sick? How does one think, interact with others? With a choice. Sickness happens, but attitude does not. One's demeanor is chosen. You are not your body. You are not what you own nor are you what is lacking. You are not your circumstances. You are a human. Being. The choice of how you "be" is this: either consent, give in and let the situation define your identity, your character, your emotions; or...

"Don't demand that things happen as you wish, but wish that they happen as they do happen, and you will go on well."   (Epictetus, Enchiridion 8) "The piece evokes the idea that, because we can never know reality beyond the surface, we need to accept the reality as we see it and put on our bravest face. We tell stories and sing songs about the world to try to encapsulate the way we want the world to be. We like stories in which justice prevails, because we can take comfort in that. But in reality there is none of that clarity. There’s no purely sweet child. We don’t like to know it, but even in a sweet child there’s a vicious streak. But such dualities aren’t always negative: behind the oldest eyes is a soul so young. Because the surface appearance of reality is never the full story, the best we can do is accept the way the world is (there’s no magic place), so put on your bravest face and confront reality as it’s given to you. When you are presented with some...

"Consider when, on a voyage, your ship is anchored; if you go on shore to get water you may along the way amuse yourself with picking up a shellfish, or an onion. However, your thoughts and continual attention ought to be bent towards the ship, waiting for the captain to call on board; you must then immediately leave all these things, otherwise you will be thrown into the ship, bound neck and feet like a sheep. So it is with life. If, instead of an onion or a shellfish, you are given a wife or child, that is fine. But if the captain calls, you must run to the ship, leaving them, and regarding none of them. But if you are old, never go far from the ship: lest, when you are called, you should be unable to come in time." (Epictetus, Enchiridon 7) TWO DIFFICULTIES: This strange little metaphor tells a story, a parable of sorts. And as with many metaphors and analogies, sometimes they fail, so there are a couple of head-scratching moments as the story unfolds. We won't t...

"Don't be prideful with any excellence that is not your own. If a horse should be prideful and say, 'I am handsome," it would be supportable. But when you are prideful, and say, " I have a handsome horse," know that you are proud of what is, in fact, only the good of the horse. What, then, is your own? Only your reaction to the appearances of things. Thus, when you behave conformably to nature in reaction to how things appear, you will be proud with reason; for you will take pride in some good of your own." (Epictetus, Enchiridion 6) "Be not a busy-body in other men's affairs" is a mantra I heard frequently in my younger years, and for good reason, namely that other people's business was simply that--their business. Don't be nosy. Let your thoughts and feelings be genuine, your own. Be aware of how you think or feel and make certain you have not assumed the thoughts, feeling, even the experience of someone else, as your own. In...

"Men are disturbed, not by things, but by the principles and notions which they form concerning things. Death, for instance, is not terrible, else it would have appeared so to Socrates. But the terror consists in our notion of death that it is terrible. When therefore we are hindered, or disturbed, or grieved, let us never attribute it to others, but to ourselves; that is, to our own principles. An uninstructed person will lay the fault of his own bad condition upon others. Someone just starting instruction will lay the fault on himself. Some who is perfectly instructed will place blame neither on others nor on himself." (Epictetus, Enchiridion 5) In my opinion, this is one of the most powerful paragraphs in Stoic literature for here we are called to personal responsibility. Epictetus uses thoughts on the subject of death as an example, examining the opinion that death is terrible--but is this always the case? We can't seem to make up our minds about death, as we brea...

Permit me to set the stage because the illustration is lost without a little background. It's worth it: trust me.  THE ROMAN BATH:  Roman baths were an integral part of the Roman community. This was the place to socialize, exercise, relax and to simply get clean.  After paying a small fee and dropping off one's clothes, one could visit the "frigidarium" (cold bath), then the "tepidarium" (warm bath) then the "caldarium" (hot bath). Many also enjoyed the "palastra" (excercise area) that might have included something like a swimming pool and exercise equipment.  Seneca wrote a letter to Lucilius that gives a humourous description of what life was like living near a bath-house. See if you can picture the scene in your mind:  My dear Lucilius, If you want to study, quiet is not nearly as necessary as you might think. Here I am, surrounded by all kinds of noise (my lodgings overlook a bath-house). Conjure up in your imagin...

"With regard to whatever objects give you delight, are useful, or are deeply loved, remember to tell yourself of what general nature they are, beginning from the most insignificant things. If, for example, you are fond of a specific ceramic cup, remind yourself that it is only ceramic cups in general of which you are fond. Then, if it breaks, you will not be disturbed. If you kiss your child, or your wife, say that you only kiss things which are human, and thus you will not be disturbed if either of them dies." (Epictetus, Enchiridon 3) We have a dedicated space for coffee cups, and believe me when I say, "it's full." Cups stacked upon cups. There's a pic on the left. Every morning I get up, open the cupboard and find a red mug. Always the red one. I don't know why, I just do. I don't use any of the Superhero cups because they're not mine (except Captain America--that one's mine) and I shy from the ones with flowers or have cute Grandm...

"Remember that following desire promises the attainment of that of which you are desirous; and aversion promises the avoiding that to which you are averse. However, he who fails to obtain the object of his desire is disappointed, and he who incurs the object of his aversion wretched. If, then, you confine your aversion to those objects only which are contrary to the natural use of your faculties, which you have in your own control, you will never incur anything to which you are averse. But if you are averse to sickness, or death, or poverty, you will be wretched. Remove aversion, then, from all things that are not in our control, and transfer it to things contrary to the nature of what is in our control. But, for the present, totally suppress desire: for, if you desire any of the things which are not in your own control, you must necessarily be disappointed; and of those which are, and which it would be laudable to desire, nothing is yet in your possession. Use only the appropria...